Baking, Giving and Learning with Kids

By Phoebe Farag Mikhail

We had new neighbors, and I wanted to welcome them with homemade cookies. But I was also having a carpal tunnel syndrome flare up, and could not stir batter without my hands going numb.

A week later and a four-toddler play date, and I had a big box of cookies to give, plus plenty to nibble on at home, too. Baking with my kids is becoming my new favorite pastime.

The last time I baked so many cookies, it was last Christmas, and I made a batch for everyone on our block. My toddler came with me to distribute them, permanently associating baking cookies with giving gifts. So there was very little protest when I removed over half of the cookies he (and three other toddlers) had creamed, mixed, and folded into a box to give away to the neighbors. They were not just giving away their sweets, they were giving away their time and effort – and they were ok with that.

There are other benefits to baking with kids. They can learn so much through baking – reading, counting, fractions, telling time – and even science lessons about how cakes rise and why eggs (or fruit) keep cookies together. 

But when one of our elderly neighbors said hello to my son, and he asked me later if we could bake cookies to give to her, I knew the lesson in giving was the most important one he got from baking together. 

Baking with my toddler has lessons for me, too—lessons that can be applied not just to parents, but also to teamwork and organizations. Toddlers stirring sugar and flour and butter and cocoa and eggs will spill some of it. They will lick their raw egg batter covered fingers. They will dump all the buttermilk into the flour mixture instead of alternating between the two. They will create cookies shaped like trapezoids and blobs. Here are the lessons I have learned from this:

1- Patience, flexibility, and forgiveness. It took me longer to bake when my helpers were much smaller than me and needed step by step instructions. Yelling at them when they spill some flour or lick the batter took away from the fun of the process and risked losing them as kitchen helpers in the future. Besides, I’ve spilled stuff too while baking – so let me take the "plank" out of my own eye first!

My son stirring batter. (c) Phoebe Farag Mikhail, 2013

2- There is a cost to not including the kids – they will need attention anyway, so if I did all the baking myself, I would have been constantly interrupted by their needs and demands, and spent the time fighting them off instead of working together. 

3- The perfect is the enemy of the good. What is perfect, anyway? Cookies shaped like blobs taste just as good as perfectly round cookies. Who cares? My neighbors loved the cookies, and it turned out they had a little boy my son's age, who was so excited to eat cookies made in part by his toddler neighbor.

On our next rainy or snowy day, I’m baking these cookies with my toddler.

What have you learned from doing things with children lately?

What Happens to a Refugee in South Asia When the US Government Shuts Down

The other day I got home upset about a flat tire and a traffic ticket. My outlook on my #firstworldproblems changed as soon as I checked my Facebook and read a status written by a friend about the refugees she works with on a daily basis. Today this friend, Sara E., who works with refugees from all over the world who have found themselves in South Asia, shared with me the devastating repercussions of the current US government shut down on refugees and asylum seekers granted resettlement into the United States. It's a sobering reminder of how many people truly suffer all over the world, not just in the US, when we cannot come to consensus. I write more about this consensus problem in my post, A Common Conversation.

by Sara E.

The ramifications of the US government shut down for many is a matter of life and death, not just a livelihood.

Imagine escaping your country of origin due to persecution. Your life was so unlivable in your homeland, you uprooted yourself to wherever you could gain asylum. Once there, you find that you are often unwelcome; not legally allowed to work and therefore providing for yourself and your family is an insurmountable feat that wears on you daily. You face a new host of persecutions--discrimination, exploitation, assault, and possible deportation.

You dig within and find the strength to persevere, because what else can you do?

After an indeterminate length of time (for some it is several month, years, or decades) you are selected as one of the nearly 1% of the 10 million+ refugees (on record with UNHCR) to be referred for resettlement to a third country as a “durable solution.”

You rejoice at the prospect to start again, despite the fact the resettlement process can take years—you must be interviewed, receive security clearances, medical clearances and immigration authorization. Again, you hang in there…what else can you do?

Then it happens: you are scheduled to depart. You make arrangements. Sell whatever belongings you can, because you’ll only be allowed to take the airline maximum of one 50 pound bag and you’ll need whatever money you can scrape together to help you start a new life.

Then, just before you are scheduled to depart, you are informed that due to the shutdown of the US government, a moratorium on refugee arrivals has been instated until such a time when funding can be ensured to enable adequate stateside assistance for your arrival. At this, you may begin to lose hope.

Syrian refugees, fleeing their homeland. Photograph from rescue.org.

Such is the situation for thousands of refugees worldwide who have endured more than most can imagine and yet whose lives continue to hang in the balance while the US government remains shut down.

The Lutheran Immigration and Refugee Service blog, "Redefining Welcome," has also posted about this topic here, also discussing the repercussions of the shutdown on migrants and refugees currently in the U.S. If you are interested in doing more for refugees in the US, a good starting point is looking at this list of nonprofit refugee resettlement organizations and choosing one to volunteer with, advocate with, or donate to. Church World Service, for example, has several local and affiliate offices with whom you can volunteer to "Welcome a Refugee." The International Detention Coalition has a list of urgent actions that can be taken in support of human rights for refugees here. Amnesty International has also produced several reports on refugees and migration that can be found here.

11/4/2013 -- An update from Sara: Now that the government has reopened, refugees resettled to the United States are now able to travel.